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What is an Expat’s Biggest Mistake?

Is an expat’s biggest mistake failing to plan before they move abroad? Is it picking the wrong country or not getting their money in order before they relocate? No, it’s being too eager to fit in.

An expat’s biggest mistake is even made by those who do go on to make a successful life for themselves abroad – in fact, I think an expat’s biggest mistake is made by almost every single person who goes abroad with a spring in their step and positivity in their heart.  You see, an expat’s biggest mistake is all about not being realistic and being too eager to fit in.

Expats are guilty of only seeing what they what they want to see, believing what they want to believe and hearing what they want to hear when they first arrive overseas.  I’ve been that expat on more than one occasion so it seems that experience doesn’t necessarily count for much – but if you’re going abroad for the first time or you’re about to relocate to another nation overseas, how can you guard against this mistake and what’s so bad about making it anyway?  Read on to learn more!

You may think that seeing what you want to see when you land up in a new nation is no bad thing – but it can mean – no, it DOES mean – that expats fail to see what’s really going on around them.  It can mean they don the proverbial rose coloured spectacles and only see the good in the people they meet.  It can mean they only see a small side of a given country and believe that the introverted life they are leading tells them all they need to know about a new country.  It can lead them to believe people they should otherwise question, sign up for things they should otherwise think more carefully about or allow themselves to follow a path that, with hindsight and a broader perspective and wider degree of thinking they should otherwise have avoided.

In being an expat with a blinkered perspective you run the risk of all sorts of dangers – some of these are just a shame to experience, others are disastrous.  For example, if you fail to see more of the world around you than the introverted world of expats that many in locations such as Dubai almost invariably fall in to, you fail to appreciate the culture you’re living in, you fail to appreciate the history and even the scenery around you.  This is a great shame and a big waste as well.  On the other hand, if you believe that everything in your new nation will be wonderful and all the people you meet are so sincere and genuine and helpful, you run the risk of being ripped off good and proper and of making friends with those no one else really wants to know!

You may think the latter is harsh – but here’s something for you to think about.  If you‘re back home at work or in a pub and a stranger enters your world, would you be really quick to foist yourself on that person and take them under your wing, invite them home, make them your new best friend?  No.  Indeed not.  The people who do that are the ones with slightly dodgy social habits, with few friends, the ones desperately seeking approval from anyone.  These are the sorts of people you’re prey to as an expat if you open your heart and your welcome without question to the first people you meet!  Don’t be so keen to be accepted by everyone!

I’m speaking with the benefit of bitter experience here – been there, done that, befriended the p**s heads and the weirdos, believed the rip off merchants and those looking to fob off the foreigner, fallen under the spell of those who claim to know how things work and promise to assist you through what’s usually a mine of red tape when you first move abroad.  And so please trust me, and benefit from my experience, you need to be more savvy, more suspicious, more streetwise and just a little less trusting when you move overseas.  Think like an old dog rather than a new puppy when sniffing out new people and always take your time getting to know people and the lay of the land overseas.

Whilst you may be keen to rush headlong into new friendships in a bid to settle in in a foreign land, a little less haste will stand you in very good stead in the long run.

Source: Shelter Offshore
Date of publication: 1 December 2009

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